For weeks I keep saying gotta get back on track.. and answering myself with "tomorrow I'll start!". Tomorrow just doesn't seem to get here. While I haven't gained anything back, I haven't lost either. At least I'm maintaining and not totally screwing up. That's it Fatty, make yourself feel better for being weak. I'm mean to myself I know. But if it's what finally motivates me... so be it.
I did however reward myself with something small for my hard work and results. I finally had my nails done, which is something I've been wanting for awhile but was skeptical because I am anything but a girly girl. They look great and I get compliments on them, so that's good for the ego. It's also good for easing my guilt they cost me $55. But still, thirty pounds is a lot of weight to lose and I deserve it. I know, still convincing myself too!
What sucks is I have really toned up the muscles in my arms, but the skin is sagging bad. I hate it. I'm dying to wear sleeveless shirts and it's still going to be a failure. Do fat girls never get a break anywhere? At least my "skinny" jeans fit without me holding my breath til I nearly pass out. Brad told me to buy some sexy new clothes for myself but unfortunately that was an esteem killer. Most sites still have me as a 3x when local retailers have me at XL. Totally sucks but what can I do besides X my window? Oy. Just gotta get motivated and get back on track. Yup. No excuses.... just DO IT!
Wish me luck.
No comments:
Post a Comment