Hiatus!

I took a hiatus from blogging... not so much from the "dieting", but definately from the blogging. My body is doing all sorts of weird things and I just don't know what to think or what to do. I should go back to a doctor and have them keeping track of my progress. Not only would they encourage me, but I would be upset to "disappoint" them. Also they could point me in the right direction. Some things are common sense, like even if it's your birthday and your bff brings you the cuuuuutest cupcakes in the world, you don't have to eat the entire box in two nights of "drunk snacks". Nor should you get totally blitzed on Head Hunters because I'm pretty sure that cream of coconut packs a caloric punch I don't even want to know about! I accepted when the scales boosted me back up to 214 Monday morning. However, I have spent the week after peeing like there is no tomorrow. So much I apparently peed 10 gallons because I stepped on the scale the other morning and it was 204. What gives?

I do Gilad when I feel like it, which, isn't very often. This morning I forced myself and it was pointless. I skipped thru the aerobics, did the floor work like I was supposed to and shut it off before the cool down. My appetite has been on a course of it's own. I've mowed thru half a peck of apples. The doctor should be way away now! It's gotta be linked to my period. Oh how I hate my period!

Doesn't help I've been stressed to the max about money. And that I've been meeting Brad for lunch and eating salads from McD's or Best Subs (which is totally not my fault their bread rocks and I'm a bread freak!) Tyra's birthday party is this Saturday and of course I'll partake in that junk food extravaganza.

Part of me says that this is the weight I was when Brad fell for me. He doesn't know me any different. I'm leaner with muscle this time around as opposed to just fat and no muscle (remember, muscle does indeed weigh more than fat!). I only know this because I fit in a 16 jean. Something I haven't done since highschool, whereas before I was an 18. One size may not seem a big deal to you (and you're a skinny bitch too aren't you?) but it does to me.

It seems what I've been doing isn't cutting it and I need to step it up. Ugh. I'm off to Ty's soccer practice and then Open House at her school. Ciao