I've decided that I need to clear out my closet of clothes either too big or too unloved. I have huge guilt over just throwing away the too big clothes, especially since some won't be a year old til Christmas. They were the first actual gift given to me on Christmas by Brad. Pretty sad and I can't let them just go in the trash. I have given the winter jacket to my mom, but chances are pretty good it's not going to fit her.
It's a surreal thing when I look back at last December and think of how those clothes fit me. The shirts and pants were a comfy fit, and the jacket was a little snug over my mid section. It's a hard pill to swallow when you reach the 250 mark, let alone go over it. I wonder how I let myself get so out of control. Maybe it was happy fat. Maybe it was just the opposite. I don't know what the biggest wake up call was, or maybe I do and I'm ashamed to admit it. I wonder would I still be so fat if my husband hadn't had a wandering eye? Whatever it was, I'm grateful to it. It's an amazing feeling to pull on a pair of size 14 jeans and have them button while you're still standing! It's also pretty nice to have people look at me and say "OMG you're tiny!" which, I'm not. Not by any means. Which tells me I must have been pretty huge to begin with.
I will admit it's hard for me to not eat what I want, when I want it. Well, for somethings anyways. There are some things I could care less if I ever eat again. Ice cream is my biggest downfall for sure. I could live off that forever. I've spent years and years not caring and grazing on whatever I could to put in my mouth. I still do, but it's consisting on apples and pears currently.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post, but at least its an update right? Currently debating if I need to post new pics or not.. hmmmm....
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